Is Feeling Worth It?
by Vannaluv
Summary: In a world full of people, there are those of us who wonder if we should even feel. They aren't sure if we have to at all. Through those people we find out if feeling is truly worth the heartache.
1. Chapter 1

Is Feeling Worth It?

**Love.**

**Love wasn't put in your heart to stay, love isn't love until you give it away. –Unknown**

***o030o***

_A long time ago I was told about the wonders of falling in love. About how amazing it is and how you'll never feel anything like it. I've never believed in love. I don't believe in people's fake smiles and faux personalities. Love is a dangerous thing. It can cause you to do anything and everything. And so far, I haven't seen that happen. ~Alois Trancy_

***o030o***

I walked down the hall quietly, to attract little attention to myself. I didn't want it…**yet.** I was so used to wearing my nerdy glasses, cardigan, and khakis. Today, I walked into my classroom, my head held high. The first person to see me was Claude Faustus. He scares me, not that I'd ever let him know that.

"Who's the new kid?" He asked, stoic as ever.

His group turned and looked at me. They shrugged, none of them sure either.

Did I really look that different? I had changed back into a style I'd worn in middle school. Short black booty shorts, a green t-shirt with a purple blazer. My glasses were gone. I'd never actually needed them. I wore them to make sure no one recognized me as Alois Trancy. I didn't want to be treated differently for who I was or what happened to me. I told them my name was Jim Macken. No one knew anything about me except that I was obviously a huge geek. I had finally washed and combed my matted blond hair leaving it silky and bright.

I walked to my seat, shrugging off the bag on my arm.

"Hey!" I turned to see Claude staring at me. "You know you're in Macken's seat, right?"

I was about to respond when I remembered he couldn't know I was also Jim. "Who?"

He smirked. "Nobody. Don't worry about it." His gold eyes flickered. "I'm Claude Faustus, by the way."

"Alois Trancy."

His eyes widened ever so slightly, but he quickly was back to being emotionless. He nodded and turned away. A smirk graced my face. I missed being able to render people speechless just with my own name.

A boy with blue hair and what seemed like a permanent scowl walked to where I was sitting.

"Mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead."

He pulled out the seat and sat down, eyes immediately going to today's assignment.

"I'm Alois Trancy, by the way." I waited for the slightest response at the name, but got nothing.

"My name is Ciel Phantomhive."

I thought for a moment. Phantomhive. It rung a few bells. I just didn't feel like trying to figure out who he was.

We worked in silence until the end of class. "Cieeeelllll~!"

He looked at me, clearly annoyed with how I'd stretched out his name. "What is it, Alois?"

I handed him a piece of paper. "My number. Give me a call if you want to hang out. I'm sure we'll be great friends~!"

He sighed. "Whatever." He walked out with a slight pink tint on his cheeks.

He was like a thirteen year old, blushing that easily!

Claude looked towards me, catching my eye and sending me a wink. I flashed him a flirty smile before waking off to my next class.

**Hate.**

**It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the scheme of things works. –Rene Descartes**

***o0:(0o***

_My life has taught me not to forgive, but to get revenge. In a home full of secrets I lie. My parents were murdered in our own home. Happiness no longer exists in my world. Only hatred and the need to avenge them. –Ciel Phantomhive_

***o0:(0o***

I left the classroom after being interrupted by the Trancy boy. I needed to meet Red. She's been feeling rather down lately. She is my aunt although I am only three years her prior.

I hurried down the hall and out to the courtyard, since this was my free period. Red was one of the few people I actually liked. Others, like Claude Faustus, make me sick to my stomach. It's people like him who turned me into who I am today.

I saw Red sitting under a tree and ran over. "Hey."

She looked up, allowing a smile to grace her features. "Ciel! How are you?"

"I'm fine." I didn't smile. She knew I wouldn't.

"Good."

I decided to be blunt. "What's going on with you, Red?"

Her smile dropped and she looked defensive. "Nothing."

I raised an eyebrow, not believing one word. "Red, don't lie to me."

She frowned. "Ciel, I just…going through a hard time. I'll be back to normal in no time."

I sighed. I guess I'd accept that for now, but if she continued to act like she has been, I will press her until she cracks.

Thinking of cracking puts in image in my head that almost made me smile. Claude's skull cracking under my boot as I make him tell me the truth. I hate him.

"Ciel!" Red waved her hand in front of my face.

"Huh? Oh. Sorry."

She smiled lightly. "Well, you better get to class, midget."

I growled at her. "I'm not **that **short!"

"Whatever."

I walked away from her, still frowning at her jest.

**So, do you like this idea? I'll be choosing a charater to represent a feeling and all that. So far I have love, hate, sadness, fear, depression, insanity, addiction, pain, greed, and envy. If you guys think of any feeling you want, leave them in a review! You can also tell me who you want to show that feeling. I already know who I want to be most of the feelings I have, but who knows? I might like your choice more. So far I have Grell, Undertaker, Claude, Hannah, Alois, Ciel, Madame Red, Elizabeth, and Sebastian cast. I'm not gonna say as what though. Please tell me what you think, your ideas for a feeling, or who should portray what feeling. Thanks! **

**Later, Unimonkeys,**

**_Vannaluv_**


	2. Please Read

**So.**

I'm sorry. Really sorry. I suck beyond sucking and I should've updated all of these a long time ago.

I've recently moved, and gotten accounts on different websites like Ao3, and of course my Wattpad. I'll give you the usernames for those if you like, since I have multiple accounts on each, but only one I post with.

I can't really write this many in progress stories, so I've decided that on each website I will focus on one. I posted a poll here to see which one you guys want, and if I don't get any answers on that, I'll randomly choose.

I won't be posting any new stories until I've finished all the ones I've already posted. I'll work in order from most to least votes, or in the case no one votes, most to least followers.

If I had better focus, I would try and do all of them, but it's not working out, so this is what I'm going to do.

I'll be posting for whatever story starting on November 11, and it will be updated every Friday after that. Sorry again.

**Please vote for the poll, so I know what you guys want.**

_**~Vannaluv**_


	3. Results

**Alright. The order has been set! I'll be continuing my stories in this order:**

**1: To Love a Demon- A human by the named Sebastian Michaelis was deeply in love with Ciel Phantomhive until his sudden death. Ciel, grief-stricken, faces another tragedy when his parents are murdered. Wanting revenge, he summons his deceased beloved one unintentionally. However, Sebastian has come to him in the form of a demon now, and he has long forgotten how to love. Picked up from DayDreamingStill**

**2: Dirty Little Secrets- Alexander Lightwood. An 18 year old millionaire. Magnus Bane. His 22 year old CEO. Alec does something no one would expect from the shy, quiet, boy. What happens when Alec's truth "comes out?" Malec.**

**3: Different- Clarissa Fray. The weird kid. The one who no one likes. The freak. William Herondale. The most popular guy in school. The hottest guy most girls have ever set eyes on. The player. What happens when a freak crosses paths with a player? Cill**

**4: Brother and Sister- Clary and Jonathan are not separated and Jocelyn takes them both. They are raised not knowing about shadowhunters. Jonathan is Clary's overprotective brother. And what happens to them once they find who they REALLY are? CLACE, and CILL (Clary x Will). It's a crossover but I left it here because I don't want anyone confused...**

**5: FROSTbitten- Elsa, a figure skater, has her heart set on Jack, a hockey player. But, when Jack leaves for college will Elsa follow him or stay? Who will they meet? What's in store for them? Jack x Elsa (Jelsa)**

**6: Reincarnated- Ciel's manor had been burned down again. This time, he didn't rebuild it. He moved into the Macken Manor, meets the ghost of Jim Macken, and falls in love. Jim tells Ciel that there is a way for him to gain a body, and Ciel can't believe it. He just has to make Jim's reincarnation fall in love with him. But how is he going to make this broken and bratty blond fall in love with him?**

**7: Cheater- Cam thought Claire was cheating. But, he ends up making a big mistake. Will he be to late? Will Claire find someone else? Will Cam ever get over her? Rated T. :P**

**8: Injured Butterfly- When Alois Trancy is brought back to life in the 21st century, he is full of anger and sadness. He finds a way to vent it. Murder. Yes, Alois Trancy has become a serial killer. What happens when our dear demon watchdog has to catch the Butterfly Killer?**

**9: Is Feeling Worth It?- In a world full of people, there are those of us who wonder if we should even feel. They aren't sure if we have to at all. Through those people we find out if feeling is truly worth the heartache.**

**I'm sorry if you aren't happy with the order. I hope you'll check out some of these other stories as well! I may add small updates to the other stories, but I'll mainly follow this order. Thank you to everyone who voted! I'll start with the first update on Friday.**

**Love ya, Unimonkeys!**

_**~Vannaluv**_


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